The club secretary was visiting a fellow bowler in a brand new hospital, and asked about the place and things in general.
"The nurses are very good and so is the treatment" came the reply, "But the food gets a bit boring." What do you mean boring asked the secretary?
Well we get "Haggis" for breakfast, "Haggis"for our lunch and then "Haggis"again for supper.
Well what do you expect says the secretary!
"THIS IS THE BURNS UNIT!"
I rang up my local bowling club, I said "Is that the local bowling club?"
He said "It depends where you're calling from.""I want one behind" said Jack
"How many has he got?" said Harry.
Lead: "How much am I short?"
Skip: "You ought to know, you're closer to it."
The Sport of Bowls
has its very own language which can totally mystify anyone who hears it, but
hasn't had the pleasure of throwing a bowl in fun or earnest. For the
information of the uninitiated, here are a few terms translated into standard
English.
"Good
weight!" = lousy line
"Good
line" = lousy weight
"Good back
bowl" = you were lucky you didn't put it in the ditch
"That's in
their way" = that's in my way
"That could be
useful up there" = that bowl is closer to you than it is to the jack
"Get it next
time" = you sure didn't get it this time
"He's
surprisingly good" = you're surprised he ever makes a shot
"I'd bowl with
him any day" = he always buys the first round